While I still have access to the internet- just found this on Em’s livejournal:
Dear ________,
I _____ you. You have a nice _____. You make me ____. You should _______. Someday I will _____. You and me are ______.
We should __________. If I saw you now I’d _______. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. If I could, I’d give you ___________.
We could __________ under the stars.
Love,
_______________
(P.S. ______________.)
I have provided an example below- contribute in the comments by copying and pasting (begin with a ‘dear jen’ if it amuses you)
Dear Bel,
I miss you. You have a nice soft, delicious brain. You make me smarter with your delicious brain that I have been progressively sucking out of your head for the last 12 years. You should totally grow more brain. Someday I will finish eating your brain, and by extension you, and I will be really really sad. Seriously I should stop eating your brain. You and me are strangely enough, still best buds, possibly because you have so few brain cells left you can’t tell I’m not a very good friend.
We should snup again in the near future. If I saw you now I’d give you a big kiss on the cheek (a good way to start gnawing at the brain y’know). I would build a brain recepticle just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be weird science. If I could, I’d give you back the bits of your brain I have eaten. I am sorry.
We could still cuddle under the stars.
Love,
Jennifer
(P.S. Now the truth is out, you can blame your lame typing skills on me. Although I would love some malk right now.)
Tags: Meme
January 6, 2008 at 10:11 am
that brain things was a bit weird. I felt like I was intruding. sorry.
January 7, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Dear Jen ,
I heart you. You have a nice cheeky look of co-conspiracy, which involves one cocked eyebrow and a glint of slight incredulousness that grows with the increased ridiculousness of my rantings . You make me feel as if what I say, no matter how demented or disjointed or poorly thought out, is important and worth listening to. You should totally keep doing that, my ego needs constant, fanning attention . Someday I will turn up on your doorstep when you’re intimidatingly famous and make you take me out to cocktail parties where I will embarass you by getting vilely drunk and talking to celebrities about ducks . You and me are psychokenetic brain buddies (mmm, brains!), and I like the fact that we link up in so many ways .
We should get together for summer suppings of dumplings and Las Chicas breakfasts and cemetary walks and garden picnics or just lying on the floor of your room and staring out the window at the trees and finches . I would build a boat designed to brave the seas and head towards loved ones just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” (the cheerier Lucksmiths version) . If I could, I’d give you a lemur. We could teach it to change DVDs for us when we’re too lazy to get out of those bottom-sucking beanbags! .
We could eat your delicious brown rice concoctions and talk bollocks under the stars.
Love,
Hayley
(P.S. You totally need to come and keep me company while I’m house sitting in Mooroolbark. I know you are fearful of the outer east, but I am fully prepared to beat off every scruffy, beanie-wearing yob you may encounter in order for me to make you chickpea curry and force you to watch more ridiculous cartoons.
January 8, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Dear Housemate Jen,
I am sorry I woke you. You have a nice turn of phrase and I like how you talk to me without being condescending when most people are. You make me pretty. You should come to Kamel with me on Victoria Parade in Albert Park. Someday I will clean the kitchen and mop the floors, it’s only fair. You and me are living in the same place which is rather grand.
We should finish watching firefly. If I saw you now I’d give you a big hug and beg you to do my make-up. I would build a beauty salon just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be “Popular” from the musical Wicked, not just because it annoys you but simply cos I still can’t get it out of my head. If I could, I’d give you a massive Jewish feast, but you’ll just have to wait till March for passover, that should be an interesting cultural experience for you… I’m yet to try KimChi.
We could get oh so stoned with one of your wonderful cocktails under the stars.
Love,
House mate Em
(P.S. Bills suck ass.)
January 16, 2008 at 11:21 pm
That’s ok Scum- brains are a rather refined taste
Hayley and Em- awwwwwww. I would totally reciprocate in kind, if I didn’t have to immediately drive home to my internetless little haven. xo
January 17, 2008 at 11:54 am
hey jen
your post about christmas is july is hilarious
it must be tough having so many veg friends
while i respect it
christmas (all be it in july) is a celebration of many meats
we’ll see how we go
it’s not like it’s going to be a big thing
with a table that seats 6
and a few more on the couch
yay for all thhe stuff that is coming next week
January 19, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Dear Emilie,
I quite enjoy living with you. You have a nice way of leaving me notes on the door, without waking me in the morning, or commenting on how late I sleep in. You make me want to keep the house nice and clean for when you get home, so you can relax after an annoying day at work. You should take a little time away from broadway so we can hang in NY- if you stay till new years you can ring in the new year in times square with me Kate and Jarad (and maybe Sal). Someday I will let you mop the floors. You and me are definitely not kosher, even though one half of us is definitely Jewish.
We should perhaps finish the ham in the fringe before it goes bad. If I saw you now I’d help you move all the cardboard down to the bins. I would build a mini broadway just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be ‘Help!’, because it sounds vaguely like ‘Popular’ in some parts, but is not nearly as annoying. If I could, I’d give you a cocktail that could get you stoned on its cocktailness alone.
We could give each other back scratches under the stars.
Love,
Jen
Ps. I suspect I’ll manage to scrounge up a few people for a day of many meats…
January 19, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Dear Hayley,
I believe it has been far too long since I’ve seen you. You have a nice cheeky camera smile that flouts myspace conventions. You make me seriously consider braving the sticks to eat chickpea curry and possibly pat a duck. You should have not been such a wuss about your engine (pfft) and come out to have a chilled night with expensive alcohol and good company. Someday I will make sure your first moonlight cinema experience is joyous and fun. You and me are arts graduate bums (are we really surprised).
We should hang soon. If I saw you now I’d make you eat this strange curry cracker that has been foisted on me, and has a strange aftertaste so you could commiserate with me. I would build a convenient form of transport that would get you to my place faster, just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be twinkle twinkle little star, cos I reckon it’s primal and soothing. If I could, I’d give you many mockmeats and a too expensive tapir jumper.
We could sip seabreezes under the stars.
Love,
Jen
(P.S. I am sad I’ve not had more time to visit your blog, or your strange housesitting home…)
January 21, 2008 at 11:46 am
that was awesome!!!!!!!