It’s not a euphemism for weed

Previously:

Jen: yay!! Our last Sunday by the way was INSPIRED. we should totally go again. cos we need to do “research” for our future mixologist careers
Hayley: it was quite possibly the BEST DAY EVER. i am absolutely behind monthly visits
Hayley: or even fortnightly, because my liver doesn’t deserve kindness
Jen: !! wallet may need help though
Jen: also, more vegan nuggets
Hayley: perhaps on the weeks we can’t afford cocktails, we can just have more vegan nuggets instead
Jen: yes! absofuckinglutely. actually admit slightly: vegan nuggets > cocktails. sometimes
Hayley: the vegan nuggets are epic, it is true
Jen: we are too fixated on vegan nuggets. which is reason #3000 why i love you
Hayley: people who don’t fixate on any variety of nuggets is clearly deranged
Jen: yes, I guess that is true
Jen: I’m in love w nuggets
Hayley : I won’t judge you for nugget-love
Hayley: if you ever decide to marry a nugget i will support you against prejudice
Jen: thanks, that’s much appreciated. believe me
Hayley: people-food marriages must be promoted and cherished. i see it as my life’s purpose. at leaast until i get bored
Jen: or until you need some action

Tuesday Night

Hayley: we meet again, madam!
Jen: Hayley my darling, I’m bored. also I blogged!
Jen: Yay!
Hayley: YOU DID! OH MY GOD! *halts looking for twitter userpic and rushes to jenblog*
Jen: no, no- really boring. Keep looking for twitter pics!
Hayley: can you see my msn user icons? i can show you what i am considering for my twitpic
Jen: yes- currently you are TOP GEAR
Hayley: that i am. specially ‘james makes adorable snorting laughter face’ top gear
Jen: so… I’m waiting!!
Hayley: okay – so i want to go with ‘hayleysass’ as my username, so i thought i might evoke some classiness
Jen: … god
Jen: I’m fearful
Hayley: so we have louise brooks
Hayley: looking pensive and thoughtful and sexypants
Jen: ooh.
Hayley: or…
Hayley: norma shearer, in a particular dazzling photo that knocks my socks off and i want to look at it forever
Jen: crap the latter one comes up too small for me to really appreciate
Jen: plus I have to admit, I’m partial to louise brooks
Hayley: i know, it’s really at its best big, but still good
Hayley: or, we can just get to the crux of what makes me me, and go with something like this…
Jen: !!!!!!!
Jen: that is hard
Hayley: it is joyous, i know
Jen: COLBERT
Jen: wait, LOUISE
Jen: COLBERT
Hayley: i have other colberts, but this one might be the best
Jen: COLBERT
Jen: I’m just going to type that over and over now
Hayley: ooo i forgot i had this one!
Jen: wait, what does that say?
Hayley: that was a favourite last year
Hayley: ‘you’re on notice’
Jen: ah. um… first one
Jen: ok, dude, am reading my blog right now- including ‘cast of players’, ‘intro’ etc. WHY IS MY BLOG SO EMBARRASSING
Hayley: it isn’t!
Jen: IT IS
Hayley: IT’S NOT YOU MOLL
Jen: Seriously, my face is red
Jen: hahaha
Hayley: it probably only needs updating cos it’s like A YEAR OLD, but other than that your blog is perfectly fine
Jen: argh. is cos is not your blog!
Jen: anyhow- new topic!
Hayley: pants?
Jen: ? er, yes, what about them?
Hayley: ….it’s just what i randomly revert to whenever anyone suggests a segway?
Jen: ah- you do do that don’t you? wonder what that says about you…
Hayley: i like pants? then again, often if something is crap i refer to it as ‘pants’. i have ambivalent attitudes towards pants?
Jen: hmmm. maybe. OR MAYBE YOU ARE OBSESSED W GETTING INTO PEOPLE’S PANTS
Jen: just maybe
Jen: so- what did you do tonight?
Hayley: ummm i ate vegan nuggets. and discovered that i really should buy two boxes in order to sate my longing for nuggets. one was not enough!
Jen: and REALLY not enough if you’re sharing w me! which means next time- we have to get FOUR BOXES
Hayley: i like this plan. i like it a lot
Jen: yes, me too- why have we been so restrained so far?!
Jen: is mystery to me
Hayley: we were not yet prepared to admit that we wanted to stuff overselves with nuggets in case the other was not so keen?
Jen: hmmm. maybe. Or we didn’t want to appear greedy- so we pretended that sharing was fine- and what we were having was just enough, when in reality we were both like- MINE! so instead of getting more… we were just dumb
Hayley: or far too polite. i fully recommend next time – NUGGETPALOOZA
Jen: have you noticed how many of our conversations have revolved around nuggets lately. perhaps nuggets really SHOULD replace men
Hayley: one day you’re going to look back on all these saved transcripts and go ‘holy shit, all me and hayley’s convos were about nuggets’. and i find the thought of it all being saved for posterity utterly hilar
Jen: I also love how you say hilar. it is hilar. transcripts will be good for that also
Hayley: i am laughing uncontrollable as we type. trufax!
Hayley: i stole hilar from a friend of mine. don’t tell!
Jen: ok, I won’t!
Jen: am talking to another dude at the mo- can’t seem to get off topic of romance novels. possibly my fault
Hayley: i am tempted to bring you nuggets on thursday as a party gift
Jen: YES! except there might possibly be so much food that it would be a waste. possibly.
Hayley: ….perhaps you should introduce the topic of nuggets
Hayley: okay, i put myself into a laughing conniption fit writing that. nuggets are officially completely hilarious
Jen: people are now going to wonder why you are constantly giggling at the word “nugget”, and then I will giggle w you!
Hayley: it’s the word alone that does it!
Jen: nugget nugget nugget nugget
Hayley: oh my god………*falls off chair laughing*
Jen: you are SO silly. love you
Jen: this is the funnest conversation ever. backward and repetitive. it’s like we’re retarded
Hayley: it’s mainly my fault. you keep trying to introduce interesting topics and I’m all…NUGGET!
Jen: ! it’s because nuggets are awesome Hayley. I thought we established this! I am now actually giggling uncontrollably
Hayley: i am actually in danger of waking up family members i have been laughing so damn hard
Jen: ahahahaha
Hayley: right, we clearly need a segway – PANTS!
Jen: that is NO BETTER DUDE
Hayley: sexy men who are not wearing pants?
Hayley: oh god i have problems
Jen: SO MANY PROBLEMS
Hayley: but unfortunately no problems involving sexy men with no pants. my life is desolation!
Jen: I admit, I also would like such a problem
Hayley: it would make daily life a lot more exciting
Hayley: quick! bring on some ridiculousness! calvalcades of sexy men with no pants…CARRYING NUGGETS!
Jen: OH MY GOD.
Jen: too much!
Hayley: it’s an image almost too marvellous to even imagine, let alone behold in reality
Jen: OK! next time you fall in love, you must demand your boy to present nuggets to you naked ALL THE TIME
Hayley: this sounds like a plan…a SEXY plan!
Hayley: and a clear dealbreaker. no nuggets, out on your ear, boy!
Jen: who would say no to nuggets though, SERIOUSLY
Jen: and still, we are on same topic
Hayley: perhaps if i ate them all and he got none. this is the most likely scenario
Jen: well, yes that would pose a potential problem methinks. he’d have to be pretty generous
Jen: we’re STILL ON NUGGETS. HAS BEEN ONE HOUR DUDE
Hayley: NUGGETS ARE AWESOME, WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING WOMAN GOD
Jen: sorry. was AMAZEMENT.
Jen: actually, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised
Hayley: because we are sad food hounds with one track minds (on food)?
Jen: or, ever sadder- we are using nuggets as lame replacements for what we really want? Although don’t know what that would be. GAH.
Hayley: nuggets are not a replacement! nuggets are clearly SUPERIOR!
Jen: hahahahahhaahahah. love NUGGETS
Jen: or, ew “love nuggets”
Hayley: they are always there for us! they are pure beings who only bring us joy and comfort. HAIL, NUGGETS!
Jen: HAIL NUGGETS, HAYLEY, ALL HAIL NUGGETS. Am tempted to like, bow
Hayley: we should make a nugget shrine
Hayley: or that might be going just a tad too far
Jen: made of nuggets?!
Hayley: OBVIOUSLY
Jen: not if we can eat it!
Hayley: jen, on behalf on this conversation i would like to say, i love you
Jen: I LOVE YOU!… and nuggets
Jen: we are so lame, how can we find this SO FUNNY
Hayley: because it’s AWESOME!
Jen: can’t breathe from laughing too hard
Hayley: i think i’m going to be permantly red in the face from all my stifled laughter
Jen: none of mine is stifled, believe me!
Jen: it’s actually starting to hurt
Jen: deep breath, I think I might be calming down now. maybe
Hayley: as you should be……………………….

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………NUUGETS!
Jen: damn, now I’m really really hungry. like really hungry
Hayley: oh god that typo is almost just as hilar
Jen: hee! I didn’t even notice that at first!
Hayley: come, let us devour a brace of nuugets!
Jen: how is that even funnier?!
Jen: NUUGETS
Jen: nougets?
Jen: wondering how much lamer/awesomer we can get now
Hayley: nougettes! french for NUGGETS
Jen: ahaha. ahahhaha. do another one!
Hayley: i can’t…i fell off my chair
Jen: god, laughing is making me even more hungry for nuggets
Hayley: they were seriously delicious today. direct out of the fryer!
Jen: dude! that’s mean!!!!
Jen: when are we going to nugget next?!
Hayley: well if i wander into the city on thursday we could have them for luncheon
Hayley: there was meant to be an ‘early’ in there
Jen: hmmm, maybe. although I don’t think I can thursday- will have a group upstairs that are hanging around until 5…
Hayley: boo. well i could bring you some, but then it might interfere with dinnerings
Jen: hmmm. we’ve been talking about nuggets so long… JUST BRING THEM
Hayley: I WILL!
Jen: OK!
Hayley: YAY!
Hayley: WE’VE BEEN SPEAKING FOR AN HOUR AND 15 MINUTES ABOUT NUGGETS
Jen: woot
Hayley: we are awesome
Jen: YES WE ARE
Jen: so awesome. nugget awesome
Hayley: nugget
Jen: stop it!
Hayley: wny is this so funny?
Jen: I don’t know!
Hayley: help!
Jen: I can’t, still. laughing. and SO HUNGRY FOR NUGGETS
Hayley: aaaaahhhhhh nooooooooo!
Jen: I’m, as you would say, devo
Hayley: i love that word
Jen: I also, now love it. Do you know I’m now currently talking about nuggets w other dude?
Hayley: OH MY GOD. are you mentioning that we are both retarded at all?
Jen: um, no- just going on and on about my nugget hunger
Jen: which is making me laugh even more
Hayley: i think you should lower the tone. put on your capslocks, and type out – NUGGETS.
Jen: NO!
Jen: He will think me even more insane!
Hayley: holy crap, joan fontaine is still alive! (sorry, i’m trawling wikipedia for old skool stars)
Jen: as you do.
Jen: who else!?
Hayley: who else is alive? so who have i been looking at?
Jen: looking at
Hayley: umm norma shearer, rosalind russell, claudette colbert, carole landis (ohh my lord saddest life story ever), carole lombard (why don’t stars ever learn that boarding a plane is never a good idea?!)
Jen: dunno, dude, dunno. but then… what about drug overdoses. they don’t learn about those either…
Hayley: foolish folk!
Jen: alright, now have finally stopped giggling- am totally drained and exhausted. and still hungry for nuggets damn it
Hayley: but your face will not explode from laughter, so good?
Jen: yes, I guess so.
Hayley: i’m starting to think that our msn convos are pure genius
Jen: it’s bc they ARE
Hayley: we should publish them, to gift the world with our wit and ridiculousness
Jen: oh god. we will be committed
Hayley: but we will live on in infamy!
Jen: hmmmm. doubtful. you are still high from nuggets
Hayley: this is true
Jen: yes, you are completely untrustworthy right now. I shouldn’t listen to anything to say
Hayley: freemasons run the country!
Jen: not proving my theory incorrect, by the way
Hayley: clearly
Jen: sigh. have your giggles gone now?
Hayley: yes. although when my eyes slip down to stephen in the corner there it kind of starts up again. DON’T MENTION NUGGETS, I WILL SLIP OVER THE EDGE…OF MY SEAT….AGAIN
Jen: ok, so I won’t… maybe
Hayley: oh god now i will be wary of unexpected!nuggets from here on in
Jen: ahaha
Jen: beware
Jen: I wield so much power with this laptop…
Hayley: OH NOES
Jen: tell me other stuff.
Jen: non crispy goodness related stuff
Hayley: not involving nuggets?
Jen: YES NUGGETS
Jen: NUUGETS
Hayley: NOUGETTES (awww haw haw!)
Jen: you know, I totally tried to be restrained, and not use that… and then you did it! I love you
Hayley: i’m going to send you text messages from now on. they will be secret text messages that could come at any time. and there contents will only contain: NOUGETTES
Jen: hahaha. NO. you will waste all your credit doing so!
Jen: you won’t be able to stop!
Hayley: it will be hard. i will attempt self-control. i will only succumb when the call of nougette love is too strong
Jen: well, ok then. I guess everyone wins
Hayley: yay!
Hayley Inch: are you still talking about nuggets with whatshisname?
Jen: no, now we’re talking about Korean food. Is not quite as interesting as nuggets.
Hayley: you should drop some crazy shit in there to spice things up. you can steal my ‘there have been no great comedies made since anchorman: FACT’ flamethrower topic if you like
Jen: it would be a little strange in teh middle of korean food talk
Hayley: all the more exciting!
Hayley: did you know that james stewart was a brigadier general in the air force reserve? THE MORE YOU KNOW
Jen: SERIOUSLY? He is so awesome.. more awesome
Hayley: he is possibly the most awesome of all awesome
Hayley: apart from gregory peck. OH YES, I WENT THERE
Hayley: stewart could also play the accordion
Hayley: he was also an assistant to a professional magician. JAMES STEWART, YOU ARE TERMINALLY AWESOME
Jen: oh, god, I forgot your accordian addiction
Hayley: i love accordions. almost as much as i love harpsichords
Jen: you love so many random things. I love… trying to think of something random, and failing. can only think of things everyone loves. pillows. sleep, nuggets…
Hayley: I should have been born 90 years ago. jimmy stewart would have loved me. i would have let him play acordion all the time. and then would have insisted on him introducing me to gregory peck and things probably would have gone bad from there….
Jen: oh, so bad
Jen: SO BAD.
Hayley: unfortunate….but ultimately not for me!
Hayley: i really should stop fantasising about actors that are dead…and were at least 80 years older than me anyway
Jen: Don’t stop! I do it all the time
Hayley: *going to the bathroom*
Jen: NO!
Jen: stay you bitch!
Hayley: i need to wee!
Jen: fine, fine, go
Hayley: wee has been released!
Jen: awesome
Hayley: you are awesome. have a present
Jen: it is nuggets?!
Hayley: it’s JON STEWART’S NUGGET PARTY!
Jen: YES! AWESOME!
Hayley: he’s so happy….about nuggets
Jen: oh, my god, he’s so SO HAPPY. am totally giggling now
Hayley: man maybe this should be my twitpic…it’s pretty boss
Jen: that’s true, but you have always loved colbert more right?
Hayley: that is also true. BUT LOOKIT THAT FACE!
Jen: ahaha
Jen: ?Dude, where did you go?!
Hayley : i’m here?
Jen: oh. nuggets, dude, nuggets.
Hayley: nuuggggggggeeetttttts
Hayley: tiny morsels of vegany goooooolllllddd (i think we should branch out into a musical)
Hayley: i’m sorry, it’s a disease!
Jen: it is! it is! It can be solved w more nuggets though
Hayley: everything can be solved with nuggets
Hayley: can you please promise me that you’ll send me a transcript of this? because this is the best conversation i’ve ever had ever
Jen: oh absolutely- dude how else can we relive this awesomeness
Hayley: yeeeeesssssssss
Jen: dude, I love you so much. what you doing at the moment anyhow? Did you join twitter?
Hayley: i’m just kind of sitting her listening to music. should probably go to bed
Jen: yeah, I’m sorry I’ve kept you so long. if you need to go, go! xoxoxoxoxoxo Can’t wait until I see you Thursday
Hayley: thursday, yes! i will be there, with all various bells on. and i shall be weilding…
Hayley: ….wait for it….
Hayley: NUGGETS!
Jen: whoo hoo! dude, love you, see you then xoxoxoxo
Hayley: byeeeeeeee! xoxoxo